A few years ago my father died.
I don't remember a lot about him. He was not very good at being a parental unit and was the singular reason I estranged myself from the extended family. Any contact with any of them meant I would, at some point, be required to be present at some family event. If any of the extended family were ever wondering why I disappeared, this is why. It wasn't you, it was Eddie.
I have very few memories.
I remember him getting angry because I didn't want to go diving. In Kaikoura. In winter.
I remember Daryn screaming on a roller coaster at Luna Park in Sydney and it turning out that Eddie was holding on to him so hard he was in pain.
I remember him getting angry because I didn't go to the wool store after school because I wasn't feeling well. He accused me of going home to play on the computer. His evidence? It was warm when he got home. The ZX Spectrum, a small solid plastic box, that was black, that was in a spot that caught the afternoon sun, was warm.
My final memory of him was the final phone call to let him know that there wasn't a possibility of sorting things out with Michelle. The literal final words I remember him saying are "What about the money I have in your house?" Eddie had loaned us most of the deposit to by a house in Addington, Christchurch. He didn't ask why. He didn't ask how I was. He didn't ask about Michelle. He didn't ask about our new, young family. He didn't ask about Reece (my son). He asked about money.
This was The Event(tm) that caused me to estrange myself. There's more that lead up to this, but this was the breaking point that caused me to finally give up on him.
He was not good at being a parental unit.
He eventually divorced mum. Once the paperwork was finalised I turned up on her doorstep on Mothers Day and said "Hi". This was the one good thing I can say that he did. He let me get my mum back.
My next exposure to him was the SMS from mum letting me know he'd died. There were no tears. There was no regret at having not tried to make amends. He'd had all the time I could give and respect is a thing that is earnt. It was just someone that died.
There was also no contact from his new family to let me know the funeral arrangements.
The next thing I heard was that Daryn was wanting to challenge the will. He had been cut out of the will. I wasn't interested. I wanted nothing to do with it. Then I heard that his kids, Eddies grandchildren, had also been cut out. This was when I decided to support him by adding my name to it.
I then heard about an incident involving mum, Daryn's kids, and Eddie that resolved with mum fleeing the property. This was when I decided that Daryn should go for everything we were legally entitled to.
Finally, I heard that the extended family, and his grandkids, were not invited to the funeral and informed that they would be escorted out by security if they were to show up at the funeral. This was when I decided that we should try for everything we could get.
The challenge to the Will was a bit messy but it did show a few things.
His new wife is Margaret Kay Bassett. She goes by "Kay". I already have an Aunty Kay, who is his sister, and she is awesome. I can't bring myself to call her Kay, so it quickly fell back to "Marge".
The affidavits started flying back and forward with the lawyers but one thing that was clear was that Marge didn't know Eddie at all. She was either lying in the affidavits, which would make her a terrible person, or Eddie lied to her and she was telling things as she understood them.
At the end of the day, Eddie, who was so fixated on money, was not that successful with it and there wasn't that much to go around. After a small cash payout for me, a reasonable one for Daryn, I was left with the balance of my share being paid out from his war pension via Marge for the next 12 years. This was an offer that I made so she wouldn't have to clean out what ever cash reserves she had.
Even with that payment she had to get a dig in. The payments are arriving with the description "Step Mum Margaret Bassett". I contacted her, via her lawyer, to ask that she change it to "From Eddie". I pointed out that it didn't bother me if she didn't change it, but I would take that as an indicator of her using this as a final petty, vindictive statement.
I checked with the lawyer and they confirmed that the message was passed on.
The reference on my statements has not changed so I guess that Margaret Kay Basset is confirming that she genuinely is a vindictive, petty individual. I will also have 12 years of evidence to establish a claim that Marge considered me to be her step-son. There may yet be the possibility for me to challenge her Will if I'm not included. If I get anything most will go to my brother.
Clearly, Eddie found someone worthy of him that he could relate too.